Facebook. Most of us have a love/hate relationship with it! It is a time sucker for sure but it can be a great way to stay connected, meet others with similar interests, discover clients colleagues and friends but…
There is a dark side to Facebook, more I believe, than other social media. It isn’t FB’s fault – this isn’t about changing an algorithm or any of that stuff about posts not being seen as much or anything like that. No it is a much more human problem.
Facebook can foster a deep sense of under achievement and loneliness in a huge number of people and maybe you have suffered from this.
It seems innocent enough on the surface.
“Jill” is ecstatic about her new love interest – he’s handsome, wealthy, available and adores her. You are single and frustrated.
“Annie” has just had a bonny baby boy, he’s healthy, so is she, she takes to breast feeding like a natural, Daddy is supportive and doting, she is Madonna personified. You are desperate for a baby but it just isn’t happening.
“Sue’s” business is going from strength to strength – she’s a coach and she only started last year but she’s generating 6 figures effortlessly and now she’s teaching others to do the same. You’ve been a coach for 3 years now and you are still struggling to make ends meet.
You are happy for them, really you are.
You click “like”, you leave hearts on their posts but deep down you wonder if its just you.
FB envy is creating depression, sadness and fear. Is it you? How come all your “friends” have the life you want? You have a vision board but your life is nothing like it. The problem is the worse you feel them more you feel compelled to go on and see more and more posts that make you feel worse. It is an addiction.
Time to STOP. Time to have a reality check. Time to put Facebook back in its place
1) A lot of people brag and boast (dare I say lie?) on FB to look good. Remember they feel insecure too or they wouldn’t do it
2) There is a lot of what we Brits call “keeping up with the Jones’s” or “me too” on FB – bravado. It’s all tied in with not feeling “enough”
3) Hours and hours on Facebook will not help you find enlightenment – switching off and talking to a human or sending a private message to someone you know will be much more therapeutic
4) Find one or two groups with people you resonate with who are genuinely supportive and honest about ups and downs
5) Jump onto Youtube and watch inspirational videos by Abraham-Hicks, Lousie Hay, Roger Hamilton…whoever inspires you
6) Start writing out what you are grateful for every day – this shifts your energy so quickly and will give all these posts a sense of perspective
7) Lighten up! What makes you laugh, smile, giggle, chuckle? Whatever it is do more of it – silly or sophisticated it doesn’t matter just do it – it’s good for you!
And then you can go back onto Facebook in moderation and share what you are happy about, what’s made you laugh, who inspires you…anything but without the envy and depression.
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image courtesy freedigitalphotos.net, thank you